I love this strategy for better understanding triggers and will be using it -beginning now.. Seems like the act of going through that 4-step process may help a person move from reacting to responding.
Yeah, that's my hope. And it is my experience too.
Even if I must admit that, as I was writing this article a few days ago, I was interrupted by my mother a couple of times. And triggered significantly, since I lost focus.
As I did that, I realised I had just skipped the whole process and went straight to reactiveness 😅
But then I have also told myself: "I must keep reminding myself of this", "I must keep reminding myself of this", "I must keep reminding myself of this"!
That I will forget what I had learned.
That I will forget I had written about.
And that I need to be kinder with myself for this.
What you write on your Substack is really helping me to empathise with people living different life stages. Like my mother. Like my aunt. Like my uncle.
I liked this Livio. It succinctly reminded me of a lesson I have to keep relearning about the habits of other people. The ones that bug me the most usually have their roots in something I do that I don't like about myself. So I remind myself when a loved one is doing something that is triggering my anxiety, I need to focus on what is behind the activity that I don't like, and where that is coming from. See? You say it much more succinctly!. :)
I have the same experience in the recent facilitation course I attended hence I can relate with what you are saying. I can only echo what my peer said to me. “Take it easy on focus on your purpose. Hang in there!”
I love this strategy for better understanding triggers and will be using it -beginning now.. Seems like the act of going through that 4-step process may help a person move from reacting to responding.
Yeah, that's my hope. And it is my experience too.
Even if I must admit that, as I was writing this article a few days ago, I was interrupted by my mother a couple of times. And triggered significantly, since I lost focus.
As I did that, I realised I had just skipped the whole process and went straight to reactiveness 😅
But then I have also told myself: "I must keep reminding myself of this", "I must keep reminding myself of this", "I must keep reminding myself of this"!
That I will forget what I had learned.
That I will forget I had written about.
And that I need to be kinder with myself for this.
As I have wished myself in last week's article! https://livmkk.substack.com/p/i-must-keep-reminding-myself-of-this
Thanks for taking the time to comment.
What you write on your Substack is really helping me to empathise with people living different life stages. Like my mother. Like my aunt. Like my uncle.
I liked this Livio. It succinctly reminded me of a lesson I have to keep relearning about the habits of other people. The ones that bug me the most usually have their roots in something I do that I don't like about myself. So I remind myself when a loved one is doing something that is triggering my anxiety, I need to focus on what is behind the activity that I don't like, and where that is coming from. See? You say it much more succinctly!. :)
In the book I am reading, the author splits this process in a few phases, over some weeks.
- week 2: I learn to recognise what I am triggered by and feel it in my body (without shooting the messenger)
- week 3: I decide not to respond, rather internalising the felt perception and asking myself "When was the last time that I have felt that way?"
Cool stuff!
Yeah, Sabrina. That's the core of "Shadow work", isn't it?
Typically what triggers us in others is what we do not accept in ourselves.
So it is a useful pointer to what we might want to work on. Or simply just accept ;)
I have the same experience in the recent facilitation course I attended hence I can relate with what you are saying. I can only echo what my peer said to me. “Take it easy on focus on your purpose. Hang in there!”
Yeah. Sometimes growth comes from where we least expect...