You are on a plane.
The flight is about to take place.
And the safety demonstration starts.
The flight attendants tell you about the oxygen masks.
That they will drop in case of an emergency.
And you should wear them immediately.
They remind you to think of yourself first.
To put your oxygen mask on before doing anything else.
Before thinking of anyone else.
Even if you are with your newborn daughter.
Even if you are with your old grandmother.
Even if you are with your lover.
You should wear your own oxygen mask first.
Before you can be helpful to others.
Before you can be altruistic.
Before you can be effective.
This is similar to what happens in normal life.
Before you can be supportive, you need to be there for yourself first.
To make sure you are healthy and present.
To deal with your own process, weights and patterns.
This might take a while.
Typically multiple years.
And a lot of experimentation.
You put a lot of effort in the process.
You wonder if things will ever change.
Until, one day, they suddenly transform.
You finally wear the oxygen mask.
You carry less weight.
And can be fully there for others.
People perceive it.
They look at you in a different light.
And talk to you in ways they have never done before.
You have the oxygen mask.
The world knows.
And you feel great.
This phase goes on for a while.
And wish will never end.
Until, one day, things shift again.
The oxygen mask does not last forever.
And you lose it.
Life happens.
Unexpected events take places.
And you fall back to your old patterns.
You doubt your path.
You lose hope.
But you keep going.
Until you get there again.
Took me a few iteration in this cycle to realise how this all works.
Having the oxygen mask is not a finite moment in time.
Sometimes you have it, sometimes you lose it.
And need to find ways to put it back on.
But the time spent in the process is not wasted.
It is an investment in the future.
As coming back gets easier and easier.
I wish you can keep trusting your path.
Ask for help when needed.
And check in with your own oxygen mask.
Have a supported journey,
— Livio
19/04/2023
I’ve heard countless people use the oxygen mask analogy to explain why we need to take care of ourselves before we help others. You’re the first one to mention the fact that sometimes it comes off and we have to find it and put it back on. Great image, and so true!
Indeed. We will probably never be able to have the mask on all the time. Maybe acknowledging it is part of the process?
For me, I notice progress if:
1, I'm able to realise I need to put it on faster, minimizing the time without it
2, I have multiple proven ways that enable me to put it on in different situations