"I will never be ready, hence I am ready"

Zen mindset, beginner mindset

Being an expert in what I do has always helped me to build confidence.
To reinforce my self concept.
And the ability to survive in the world.

This has been quite a useful approach.
But has also come across as arrogance.
And been misinterpreted.

Recently, a very kind man has challenged my way of doing.
And taught me a lesson that I am happy to share.

Not so long ago, I took part to a meditation event.
We gathered in a small room to listen to the teachings of a Vipassana master.

I have been practicing for many years, considering myself an experienced meditator.
Hence, when we were asked to sit of the cushion, I was very confident.

Broad shoulders.
Straight spine.
Lowered gaze.

I engaged in what seemed to be a very virtuous session.
And proudly concluded it.

As we took a first break, the teacher thanked the group for the dedication.
And congratulated everyone for keeping a correct upright position.
Everyone but me!

He kindly noticed that my back was bent.
That my shoulders were dropping to the front.
And asked me to pay more attention to the instructions.

I was surprised.
I made sure he was referring to me.
And waited for the next meditation to start.

We kept practicing.
The man moved around the room to correct people’s postures.
And asked us not to open our eyes.

He approached me again.
Pressed my lower back.
Broadened my shoulders.
And moved on

In an instant, my whole experience shifted.
I was brought to a totally different state of mind.
And my breath was deepened like I had never experienced before.

“I myself was not breathing but ̇— strange as this may sound — was being breathed” (Zen in the art of archery, Herrigel).

That is when I realised all my arrogance.
That I knew much less than I thought.
And was humbled by the master’s kind gesture.

I realised that I am just a beginner.
That mastery is a long way off.
And perfection is unattainable.

I realised that I will never be ready.
I will never be experienced enough. I will never fully arrive.
Hence, I am ready now. I can make mistakes. I can learn by doing.

And this is true for any aspect of my life.
For any new experience I will delve into.
And any craft I am practicing already.

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In Zen, having a beginner mindset is crucial.
Everything is learned by practice.
And experimentation is at the heart of the discipline.

Whether you are tackling a new challenge or working on an old one, just know that you are ready now.
Since there will always be new mistakes to make.
And something new to learn.

Have an humble, beginner journey,
— Livio

27/02/2023