Anger journaling

Giving voice to the shadows

More than a year ago, I ended up at the hospital.
I woke up with stark pain in my right arm.
And decreased sensibility in my index finger.

I went to the emergency room.
Scared. And by myself.

The doctors reassured me.
Performed some analysis.
And asked me to wait in the hall for the results.

That’s where I met a man with a broken arm.
Slim, tall and with grey hair.
About 10 years older than me.

I told him that I knew what was going on.
That this episode was related to unexpressed anger.
That exploded at night, during a dream.

It was the resentment of a lifetime.
Which piled up, day after day, never being let out.
Like the pressure inside a sealed cooker.

The man smiled kindly.
He said that he had issues with anger for his all life.
Until he had decided to tackle them, at about my age.

He tried out many things.
Started doing kick boxing.
And multiple high energy activities.

Out of all his experiments, one technique stood out.
It was journaling.

He begun his day with pen and paper.
Letting out all his frustrations against how things were.
Against “his enemies”.

“A bit in German, a bit in English”, he said.
“Fuck off here, fuck off there”, he continued.
Until it was enough for the day.

He went on like this for about one year.
Doing it as the first thing in the morning.
Or in moments in which the rage was taking over.

And one day he just stopped.
He realised it was enough.
And decided to put the notebook away.

It was not that all his anger was gone forever.
But he had learned to let it go. To express it.
Or to just let it be.

So, today I am writing this to thank that man.
Because my year of anger journaling has just finished.
And I can put my notebook away.

Throughout this year, I have become more honest with myself.
More aware of the fluctuations of my mood.
And of what hides behind my shadows.

Of the need to give space to my anger.
And voice my frustrations and needs, when they arise.

Whether for you is anger, or fear, or regret, I wish you can find the time to attend to your own shadows.
And give emotional journaling a try.

Just take pen and paper.
Write down what you truly feel.
And tell me how your experience has been.

Have a honest and truthful journey,
— Livio

14/02/202

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