Loneliness might just be an excuse
Breaking free from the stories we tell ourselves
If you like my writing, feel free to click the ❤️ or 🔄 button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack 🙏
Since childhood, loneliness has always been my demon.
I often felt alone even when surrounded by others.
As if no one could understand me.
My reaction to this was counterintuitive.
It was to surround myself with people.
To fill up my schedule, so that I could be with others.
Busy talking.
Busy listening.
Busy doing.
Even today, my automatic response to discomfort is to look for company.
I tell myself I do not want to be alone.
Which justifies doing things I do not want to be doing.
Going in places I do not want to.
Staying up at night, even if I do not want to.
Doing what others want to do.
Recently, I heard myself saying “I do not want to be alone today”.
And, for the first time, wondered if that was even true.
So I have decided to stay in.
To go to bed early.
To wake up and enjoy the early morning.
To then realise I quite enjoyed it!
I could rest more.
I could write more.
I could read more.
So, this article is to remind myself to listen to the stories I tell myself.
And ask: “What if this story was not true?”
What if feeling lonely is not true?
What if boredom is not so bad after all?
What if these stories are just a reminiscence of the past?
Trying to stay in the emptiness left by loneliness.
We might find out there is authentic pleasure.
And reconnection with our true nature.
Give it a try, next time you’re telling yourself the same old story.
You might realise that times have changed.
And pleasure awaits you on the other side.
Have an untethered journey,
— Livio
14/05/2023
P.s.: if you like my writing, feel free to click the ❤️ or 🔄 button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack 🙏
I actively reframe loneliness ( not great) into solitude ( awesome, time to introspect, read something useful ( leisure or just curiosity about the monthly hobbies ( re)- cycling , just watch how incredibly is just to sit and breathe and basically be alive.
Than you for the perspective and creative reminder ! it's bookmarked.
For me personally- it's a conscious reminder that I have to be aware to be conscious and to be mindful about it - (tricky) , and not be sucked into the loneliness self pitying and move into the gratefulness of solitude.
Yes! If you don't go back and look at the story, you can sometimes miss the happier ending! Was happy to be reminded.