Our brain is hardwired to protect us from threats.
It tends to easily embed bad memories.
So that we can be more alert, and more likely to survive.
While good experiences are quickly forgotten.
To overcome this bias, we are often advised not to dwell on the negatives.
To stop clinging to bad thoughts.
To let them go and move forward.
For a similar reason, a conscious effort to embed positive states can be useful.
So that we can take in the good.
And allow ourselves to learn from a positive experience.
“Your brain is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones. Unless you consciously take in good experience, it usually washes through your brain like water through a sieve, leaving little good behind.”
However, there is something counterintuitive in this dynamic.
Clinging to positive states might be as undesirable as clinging to negative ones.
Clinging is the tendency to hold on to specific states or thoughts.
For instance, we can cling to the memory of a deceased relative.
Or to the idea we are selfish, and not good enough.
We can cling to the shiny energy we radiate after a particularly good performance.
Or to the confidence we emanate when we are in a state of flow.
Interestingly enough, if we cling to something, we cling to everything.
If we cling to the good, then we cling to the bad.
If we cling to the bad, then we cling to the good.
Hence, if we want to stop fixating with negative thoughts, we also need to let go of positive states.
We enjoy them, until they are there.
We live them fully, for their whole duration.
And we are ready to let them go, as they inevitably fade away.
By doing this, we develop a tendency to surrender.
We live every moment in its totality.
And we slowly let go of what bothers us.
Try considering this perspective, the next time you're hesitant to leave a beautiful sunset. Or to say goodbye to a life companion you might not be seeing for a while.
You might find a new appreciation for life.
And more lightness when facing difficult moments.
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Have an untethered journey,
— Livio
27/04/2023
This sounds very much like the art of living learned through Vipassana :)
Clinging, no matter to good or bad, creates suffering in our minds.
So does avoidance.
Once we understand and experience that literally everything is temporary, like the beautiful sunset you shared, or the grief when a close one departs, it helps us in two ways. Be more present in the moment so we can fully experience it, and let it go with calmness once it passes.
Livio, Very well put. Thank you. D