We've all experienced that moment when we can't recall someone’s name.
Or the title of a movie. Or how a restaurant in our city is called.
It is quite an annoying feeling.
We often get fixated with wanting an immediate reply.
To escape the discomfort of not knowing.
We might google it, or ask someone.
But sometimes these options are not available.
So we accept that we do not remember.
And move forward.
And then something unexpected happens.
When we least expect it, we remember the name.
Maybe while taking a shower.
Maybe while cooking.
Maybe while having a walk.
I often forget my brain works this way.
I get fixated with wanting a quick reply.
And squeeze my intellectual capabilities.
But this act of forcing does not really work.
Just leads to stress.
And overthinking.
So I searched for a different way.
And have found a new approach.
Inspired by a century old tradition.
In Zen there is something called “Koan”.
A koan is the practice of repeatedly asking ourselves a certain question.
Over and over again.
The focus is on asking the question intentionally. Consistently.
Having faith that the reply will come.
I have tried it.
Adapted to my needs.
And it works!
Realising that asking a question is more important than looking for a reply.
How it works?
In three steps.
1. Clarify the question
Write down a short question starting from a challenge you are facing.
For instance, if you are trying to achieve more balance, a good question can be “How can I be kinder with myself today?”.
If you are desiring to make a job move but you are still unsure, a good question can be “How can I develop more courage today?”.
If you are feeling stressed and overburdened, a good question can be “How can release some weight today?”.
Write it on a piece of paper and put it in your wallet.
Or on the background of your mobile.
Or on a post it.
2. Apply consistency
Ask the question repeatedly during the day.
Whenever is easier for you to remember.
While taking the shower.
Or brushing your teeth.
At the end of any presence practice you might have.
Or even after cooking.
What matters is consistent asking. And trust.
Use one question at the time.
And only shift to a new one if you feel it is time.
3. Wait (and write)
Just wait for the reply to come.
With patience.
Allowing multiple answers to emerge.
Even journal the replies, if that is something that works for you.
Write the replies on a piece of paper, or on a note on your mobile.
Forget about it. And move on.
You will be surprised by how many insights you will receive.
And by how many new habits will be promptly introduced in your life.
Asking questions with consistency can work very well.
It is helping me with both trivial and important matters.
And relieving me from overthinking.
Do you want to give it a try?
Just comment below with a challenge you are facing.
And I can help you to formulate a question.
Give it a try next time you’re stuck with a decision.
And get a taste of its benefits.
Have a resourceful journey,
— Livio
20/10/2022
Asking questions is enough
So often, when wrestling with a problem, the answer comes to me when I'm out for a run or walk and have totally forgotten about the problem.
I know this works, I often use a version of it myself.